I’ve been depressed. For about two years, maybe my whole life… I’ve had doctors and therapists ask me if I have thoughts of suicide. I always laugh and shake my head- no way! I’d never do that. I’m not obsessed with death in any way, shape or form. I saw Harold and Maude 30 years ago and there’s just no way I could make that choice, even for pretend. People who contemplate suicide are selfish, only thinking of themselves, not considering the pain they will cause and the mess they will make. I don’t think God likes suicide; ending your life is like slapping the Giver of that life in the face. I would never do that… ever…
Except.
Except for the sabotage, and the self-loathing, and the
shame, and all of the million things I do or don’t do every single day that minimize my existence, diminish my health, and in a very tangible way shorten
my life… a slow slide into suicide.
